4 steps to eliminate emotional dependence

Emotional dependence has a lot to do with the way a person devalues ​​himself/ herself. Likewise, we can not leave aside an almost undeniable fact. We often do it, we confuse love with attachment and sometimes we confine ourselves in bonds lacking in reciprocity, to the point of putting our well-being in other people’s pockets, leaving us with nothing. Let us, therefore, learn what steps, what internal processes we must put into practice to enjoy healthier relationships.

How to eliminate effective dependence:

A first aspect that we must consider is the following: emotional dependence extends beyond couple relationships. It can also occur in friends, colleagues, family, and people from the environment. In general, it is a situation that can be established in any field.

Often, you can spend long periods of time until we suddenly realize. We have lost our emotional self-sufficiency, we are subject to someone to the point of not thinking and acting for ourselves. Intuiting that psychological reality will undoubtedly be the first step to proceed to eliminate emotional dependence. Let us consider the following steps.


Make a list of things that hurt us and what we do for love or affection:

Once the existence of the problem has been recognized and there is a conviction of the need to eliminate emotional dependence, we must take the second step. We will make a list of things that we have come to do for someone and that in one way or another, harm us. Here we have to be aware that a dependent person does not pay attention to their personal well-being, but to that of the other person.

What things did the other person have that hurt you? What have you done for the other that hurt you? Have you left friends, family, activities, studies, personal development, etc …? Have you been treated with the respect you deserve?

Reinforce self-esteem to eliminate emotional dependence:

As we have seen the main factor of any emotional dependence is low self-esteem.  There are many options to strengthen it. The question is to give it the importance it deserves and to recover that indispensable psychological tendon.

Let’s see some tips below:

  • Begin to decide for yourself.
  • Remember your past achievements, your successes.
  • Do not compare yourself, do not look for other people’s approvals.
  • Start new projects, meet new people. Experiment, be excited.
  • Work your assertiveness. Say “yes” without fear and “no” without guilt.
  • Take responsibility for your life and your happiness.
  • Know yourself, explore your needs and desires.
  • Heal your wounds

Learn to be alone:

Life is more beautiful with love, but it comes healthily when we feel good about ourselves.  We can not have a healthy relationship if we have not developed as people before. Therefore, to eliminate emotional dependence, it is necessary to learn to be alone.

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